How nice is the feeling of being understood by others! Solving conflicts with compassion helps our quality of life.
What is compassion?
Compassion must have something to do with FEELING, a feeling for others and to share with others.
Synonyms are:
Compassion - feeling condolences - empathy - sensitivity for others - feeling compassion - feeling - feeling sorry for someone - showing tact and understanding - actually feeling sympathy and empathy for others.
Wikipedia says that this includes the ability to respond appropriately to other people's feelings. This can be done, for example, with pity, expressing mourning and possibly willingness to help.
It is interesting that the basis of compassion - or empathy - is self-awareness. This means that the better and more openly a person is able to deal with their own emotions, the better they can interpret the feelings of others and react constructively to them.
What compassion is NOT:
Indifference - cold-heartedness - hard-heartedness or heartlessness.
Since we also know such reactions in our society, we have to admit that compassion can be a hot topic, which can often lead to conflicts. If there are - often also unconsciously - fears
associated with us that cause such feelings of rejection, it can lead to destructive reactions.
Self-awareness as a basic competence
Da die Selbstwahrnehmung ein so wichtiges Element für unser Mitgefühl ist, scheint es angebracht, darüber einige Gedanken zu machen.
Since self-awareness is such an important element in our compassion, it seems worthwhile to think about it.
Self-awareness, i.e. the perception of myself, is essential for the formation of self-confidence. This leads to an understanding of the external perception, i.e. the perception of another person. The sum of these self-perceptions forms our self-image. Our self-esteem (BLOG) is of course closely connected with this.
Our senses combined with information from the environment shape our understanding of ourselves and form our self-image into adulthood. However, this can change far into old age and hopefully develop positively.
Our understanding of our body (structure and functions) leads to our body image. This can lead to disruptions, even distortion, denial or repression, and thus self-deception, which can lead to diseases such as anorexia and excessive sense of shame, for example, because of unreached images. Social incompetence is then associated with this.
It is therefore understandable that love, which leads to self-love, is an extremely important element, where every responsible person - parents and educators - has to be smart in order to implant this love in their counterpart. (see blog about Love Languages)
Good role models are important
Each of them has role models. If they are good, we benefit from them. If they are close to us, then our love tank can stay full. But unfortunately there are many children - I experience this again and again when teaching - who are insufficiently loved and therefore show fearful reactions that sometimes indicate a lot of inner aggressions.
It is astonishing which ’mountains’ you can climb with children if you raise them properly, treat them with compassion and love. The more their love tank is filled, the stronger and more mature they will be in life.
How can we fill our love tank?
Where did you, dear reader, find a source of love? In your life partner? In your best friend? How do you fill your love tank? Is it perhaps a tendency to enjoyment (addiction) that has crept in, or a flight into a media world where some dopamine (happiness hormone) is to be expected? (BLOG)
My role model
My own role model is JESUS himself. I immediately feel accepted by HIM. He also accepts me with my mistakes. And He always surprises me with the care and love He shows me every day.
The idea that Jesus always had the power to defend himself leads to a deeper understanding of the compassion he mjust have had for us: He really wanted to give us all a chance to be saved.
What we can learn from JESUS
Those who have the privilege to read and study the stories of Jesus in the Gospels already have access to His kind of compassion and love.
No wonder many people have always followed Him. With Him they could fill up their love tank. Jesus had deep compassion and feelings for those around him. He immediately recognized their needs and desires. He knew that they were afraid and without orientation, like sheep without a shepherd.
Countless times it drove Him to heal their physical and mental injuries, to forgive their sins and to strengthen their hearts and heal illnesses. His touch alone brought healing. No injury was stronger than He could handle. His compassion led Him to countless deeds and also words with which He wanted to make God's love understandable to His fellow men.
Compassion in conflicts
Jesus' relationship with Jewish authorities was somewhat complex. He took time for the Pharisee Nicodemus (Joh 3), He healed the daughter of the synagogue leader Jairus (Mk 5) and He was often invited to eat with the Pharisees (Lk 7 & 14). They all needed His love, His compassion. Still, they followed Him at every turn and set traps to outsmart Him with crafty questions.
He wept over the Jewish leaders (Mt 23). His compassion was unprecedented, despite challenges and conflicts. His offer of grace had no limits.
Finding your way around in today's world is a major challenge for most people. The information overload prevents many from finding their meaning in life. Distraction here and there. What do I actually want? Isn't it love, real love that interests me? Even find a source of love? I want to understand better what our short life is all about. This is exactly where JESUS helps us.
The love of Jesus
Jesus' mindset (Phil 2) and His thinking and attitudes show his selfless love that made him willing to die even for us. He let himself be humiliated to death without defending himself. How great must His love for us, for you, for me have been! That is the love that I need in my life. It leads to the highest quality of life. It enables you to live a life with the most mature compassion, for the blessing of the environment.
Jesus makes an offer to all of us. He opens His source of love to us and wants to make it a reality in our lives. How can this happen?
Growing in Christ
Through his death on the cross, Jesus triumphed over the power of evil. The enemy's powers can be overcome by HIM. If we strengthen our relationship with Him, He can also share with us His victory over evil. Through this we will receive His peace, joy and assurance of His love. What a quality of compassion can be expected!
The Holy Spirit then dwells in us and gives us strength every day. This frees us from all of our legacy problems. Our life gains meaning and quality of life.
If we cultivate this relationship with Christ on a daily basis, then our fears are replaced by love, more and more every day. Through community care in prayer, in his word, in devotion and thinking about his presence and guidance, we experience happiness, a joy of life that we never want to exchange.
Our whole environment will notice that we have a full love tank that extends to our surroundings. Our social fears turn into compassion and sympathy. Our self-competence and social competence, called EQ (BLOG), will increase and become a blessing for everyone around us.
The Bible speaks of a fruit that then shows itself. In Galatians chapter 5: 22-23 we read about this fruit:
But the fruit of the spirit is:
LOVE, JOY, PEACE, PATIENCE, FRIENDLINESS, GOODNESS, FAITHFULNESS, GENTLENESS, SELF-CONTROL
Which of these quality features would you like to have yourself? Select 3 of them.
The good news is: since this is not several fruit but one fruit, you will receive all of these gifts at the same time. Isn't that a sensational offer?
Knowing yourself loved conveys new powers. Feeling like a child of God and being cared for and guided by JESUS gives deep joy and strength to bear all the daily burdens. With HIM new worlds of relationships open up. Suddenly I can deal with difficult people and situations much better. Thank God.
All we can do is to spend time with Jesus, get to know Him better, choose Him and open our hearts to Him so that we can plant these qualities.
If I can support you, I would be very happy to do so. You can contact me at any time. (ernst.zwiker@yahoo.com)
May our dear Lord bless you
