Preschool

Many parents measure their children’s success by the grades they bring home from school, thus building family pride. To this end, they try to teach their little ones to count to one hundred and say their ABCs while still in kindergarten. It is a known fact that, at the end of the day, this knowledge is of no advantage. Children who learn these things early think they know everything and are less motivated to pay attention to the teacher, thus slowing their learning process.

It is much more important to strengthen a child’s character and help him or her develop emotional intelligence (see BLOG). This will be a great benefit in life.

Many preschool children who are familiar with video games, cartoons and the newest apps have not learned much about empathy, perseverance, responsibility and faith.

A Case Study: Gabriela

At the end of a tough day at work Gabriela arrives home at the same time as her children, Lauren (7) and Alessia (9). She sets her things down and immediately begins warming up dinner.

Lauren sits down in front of the TV. Alessia starts playing her favorite iPad game. When Dad comes home, they sit down together for a short meal. No one is discourteous, but no one says, “Please ,” or “Thank you.”

After the meal they all go back and continue with their respective media. Daddy is deep in thought with his laptop, and after awhile Alessia’s Smartphone has her full attention.

Lying in bed at the end of the day, Gabriela thinks about the family and an uneasy feeling settles over her as she ponders their communication, or the lack thereof. Their family bonds are not very strong. The children concentrate on their media and computers, and her husband seems to function the same way. What has happened to her family? They used to be a close-knit team.

This case in point demonstrates how everyday family life can look if we don’t take conscious measures to prevent a downward spiral.

....Wir als Erwachsene machen es den Kindern vor. Unsere Motivation überträgt sich auf ihre. Das geht schnell. Wenn wir unsere Kinder stark machen wollen, müssen wir erkennen, dass Erziehung auch Selbst-Erziehung ist. Das hat mir persönlich am meist… — We adults are examples for our children. Our motives quickly become theirs. If we want to strengthen our children, we must realize that to teach and discipline children means, first of all, to teach and discipline ourselves. That was my biggest challenge in my career as an educator. Self-discipline, where does it come from? Where can I get it?

Affection

Affection is probably the most important ingredient in a family and the basis for hugs, physical touch, loving words and eye contact. Emotionally healthy children are youngsters who have generally experienced a lot of affection in their families. They have a natural attitude of gratitude and tend to make less unrealistic demands of themselves and others, and this positive attitude also carries over into adulthood.

There are many siblings who can drive each other up a wall in a matter of seconds. These sudden bursts of rage develop at home and later can be observed on the playground and in school. The reason for this phenomenon is an unfulfilled need of affection.

For children, affection means, among other things, answering their daily question, “Mommy, Daddy, do you love me?” with loving attention. This most important question should be answered positively as often as possible before the children start school. In this way, a basis is built to show them how to take responsibility for their behavior.

....Die Arbeit ist auch wichtig, aber Kinder in diesem Alter sind der Hammer. Sie sind so lenkbar, so lernwillig und aufrichtig, leicht zu begeistern, wenn sie von den Medien ferngehalten worden sind. Mit ihnen im eins-zu-eins Zeit zu verbringen fül… — Work is important, but children in this stage are absolutely amazing. They are so easy to guide, eager to learn, spontaneous and easy to inspire – as long as they have been kept away from media. Spending time with them one-on-one fills their emotional love tanks and helps them master the challenges and stress they will **once meet when they are at school.**

"Sorry"

How children answer questions about guilt like “Who did that?” tells a lot about their understanding of responsibility. The answer, "It just happened," is unsatisfactory, but immature adults are often caught in this childish behavior and blame others for their mistakes. People who take responsibility for their actions can give a sincere apology when they have erred.

Those who spend a lot of time watching TV or other media are at a disadvantage when it comes to developing a sense of responsibility. When parents take the time to clearly communicate their wishes and expectations to their children and demonstrate a sense of responsibility in their own lives, they will reap a bountiful harvest.

You can help children by

showing affection
appreciating others
processing anger and aggression in a positive way
apologizing
being a good listener

Personal Presence

It is a paradox how electronic devices can connect people from all over the world and at the same time separate us from those nearest us. It’s wonderful that we can talk to Grandma on another continent via Skype or Messenger. However, when you compare that experience with the frequency of computer games and television, it doesn’t happen all that often. It seems we look more at screens and less into faces as time goes by.

....Es ist schon mal gut, wenn der Vater mit den Kindern etwas gemeinsam macht. Wie schön ist es doch, wenn er mit seinen Kindern am Wasser, im Wald oder auf der Wiese spielt. Wenn er aber dauernd vom Handy gestört wird und dieses und jenes nachscha… — It is definitely a good thing when a father gets together with his children. Can you imagine a more idyllic scene than a man and his children spending a lazy afternoon playing by a stream, in a forest or a meadow? But if his quality time with the kids is repeatedly disturbed by his phone, it will not have the desired positive impact on their relationship.

....Durch das Vorlesen interessanter Geschichten werden sich die Sprache und Werte des Kindes gemäss den Inhalten entwickeln. Überlassen wir diese Förderung den Medien, dann geben wir ihnen die Verantwortung.  Ist einmal die Freude an der Liter… — When you read interesting stories to your children, their language and values are developed according to the content. Once a love for books is awakened in them, the world of literature and all the knowledge therein is open to them and can impact the rest of their lives. When we leave this task to the media, we give up the responsibility of training our children and hand them over to strangers to do the job.

The Social Development of Preschool Children

They have a vocabulary of about 1500 – 2000 words. Their values are bound up in their vocabulary.
They can normally form complete sentences, not fragments. If you communicate a lot with a child, he or she will also be able to communicate well. If a child avoids relationships (and eye contact), you can be sure the child has some fears that have not been dealt with.
They are interested in friendships, and show signs of cooperation and a willingness to share and prioritize the interests of others.
They can express emotions like frustration verbally and not just physically.
They love to play pretend and dress up to match the rolls they play.
They love to imitate grown-ups. Adults who know this can guide and influence them more easily.

Summary

The best thing you can do for your preschool children is to keep them as far away from social media as possible. The more they can experience the wonders of nature, the joys of role playing, drawing, coloring, listening to virtuous stories, music and working together with children of various ages, the more emotional intelligence will be developed (BLOG). This will be a great advantage and a general guarantee of success for their futures.

Experiencing nature together makes families strong. It provides opportunities to put the various love languages into practice (BLOG). Enjoy your children at the age they are right now! It’s a unique time and will not come back again.